Earlier this week, I noticed that I had some audible credits building up and I wasn’t sure how to best use them. The next day I read an NPR article about Elizabeth Smart writing an autobiography and decided to listen to it.
It was a very captivating and interesting book. The story of her kidnapping is terrible and bizarre. For nine months she lived as a homeless person subject to the whims of a self proclaimed prophet who was cruel and controlling and raped her daily. I find it interesting that she documented how she was broken. Initially, she was chained to a tree and given no opportunities for possible escape. But after months of abuse, threats to herself, and threats to her family, she was so thoroughly ruled by fear that the physical chains were unnecessary. At several points, she was given opportunities that a healthy person might have taken to escape. Once, a police officer insisted on seeing her face despite her captor’s insistence on her veil’s religious purpose. The officer finally backed down when the captor pointed out that if she was a missing person, surely she wouldn’t just stand there. The book made it clear how a 14 year old, abused, broken, and terrified girl certainly could just stand there despite desperately wanting to escape.
Listening to her autobiography, her religious attitudes were presented frequently. She perceived herself as experiencing many miracles which clearly gave her comfort. Her utter revulsion at the concept of alcohol and some other more mundane worldly things hit my ears as naive and judgmental, but perhaps with a tinge of sweetness to it. Her love for her family and the stories of their kindness and extreme gentleness were absolutely endearing.
One thing that struck me was that she often referred to her captors as wicked, evil, driven by Satan, etc. And while what they did was unquestionably evil, I found such references off-putting. Labeling a person as wicked and evil makes them something “other”, something that you yourself could never be. It makes it okay to treat such people with revulsion or ridicule or shame. And that’s dangerous. I think even kidnapping rapists are still people. They may be horribly selfish, weak, uncaring, manipulative people- but they’re still people. People who have worth and could become something better. And I think that’s important to see. If the attitude of an evil, wicked, other gets extended to say, anyone who is not a part of religion X or is a part of religion Y or has a kid out of wedlock or any other perceived lapse in morality, it’s easier to see how destructive it is. Remembering the humanity of even those who do the worst things, reminds me that I too am capable of being selfish, weak and uncaring and perhaps it helps me guard against being those things a little bit. Given what Elizabeth Smart went through, if she wants to call her captors wicked and evil, by all means, she has every right. But I think that attitude on a larger scale is the cause of a great deal of pain and suffering.
Another thing that struck me was that as she recounted her story, she always took note of the things she was grateful for during her captivity. When things seemed absolutely horrible, she would recount all of the small things that made her life a little better and all of her wonderful experiences from the past to help remind her that in many ways, she was lucky. I think this attitude is overwhelmingly impressive and is clearly what allowed her to recover from the ordeal. She said that if she let herself stay in a place of self-pity and failed to move on, she would be giving her captor all of the power and she wasn’t willing to do that. Instead, she chose to be happy. Her experiences show the incredible power of gratitude. I hope that when I’m facing far inferior ordeals to hers, I’m able to keep in mind her attitude of gratitude and realize just how wonderful I have it.
