A blogger I've recently come to love, Mr. Money Mustache, recommended this book and I decided to give it a try. I am so glad that I did. This book feels so filled with wisdom that I hope I read it multiple times in order to better absorb the deepness within it.
William Irvine is a philosopher who states that he'd long felt drawn to Buddhism and decided to write a book on what religions and philosophies through the ages have had to say about desire. He said it was his secret hope that he would be converted to Buddhism through this study but that instead he discovered Stoicism and felt it was an even better fit. I can totally relate to this experience. Years ago, I listened to a series of talks from a conference about neuroscience and one of those talks was by the Dali Llama. He was completely open to science and said that if faith and science conflicted, it was the faith that should change. I enjoyed his short talk so much that I've subsequently read many of his books. The Buddhist view on taming our desires, emotions, and attachments in order to obtain peace has long appealed to me. However, the Dali Llama would sometimes start talking about more supernatural items like karma, dharma, and past lives which felt more alien to me. So here comes the ancient philosophy of stoicism, tempered for modern readers by Irvine, and it offers all of the incredible benefits that Irvine and myself have seen in Buddhism without the religious aspects.
According to Irvine, a Stoic's main goal is to obtain tranquility, or peace. In order to obtain this peace, people have to learn ways to cope with human insatiability. It is a natural human tendency to start to take the good things in our life for granted and become dissatisfied with what we have. Wisdom across the world has long found that the key to happiness is wanting what we already have. The Stoics had several psychological techniques to help do this.
First, they encourage a practice called Negative Visualization. This consists of stepping back and imagining your life without certain things. I can think back to times that I've been extremely ill and then imagine in detail a life without health. This is very distressing and it makes me extremely grateful for my health. When I think on it long enough, I'm sure that hard as it would be, I would adjust to such a life and can imagine things in that life that would still make it worthwhile. I would still have people that loved me, the ability to read and learn, and many other things to look forward to each day. So in the visualization, I continue to take things away and try to see life as still be livable. Could life be meaningful if I was alone, blind, deaf, and horribly ill? Well, it would be a lot harder, but it seems likely that even then, I could learn Braille and continue reading. I could think back to happier memories and enjoy them. I could get a dog to keep me company. Etc... In reality, people have terrible things happen to them all the time and generally speaking, they learn to adjust and keep going. So no matter how bad it got, I would most likely continue to find reasons to want to live. After this visualization, I can bring all of the good thing back. I do have vision, hearing, health, and loved ones! And the contrast between the imaging and the reality makes me feel great gratitude for all of that I have.
Another technique is focusing only on those things over which you have control. Irvine divides the world in to those things that you completely control, those things over which you can influence but not completely control, and those things over which you have no control. The category of things that you can truly control mainly consists of your goals, values, and reactions to external events. Things that you can influence but not ultimately control tends to include anything you might do with your time. You can work hard at your job and you're more likely to get a promotion, but you might not. Irvine suggests that we make our goals only things that we can control. For example, if I make doing the best I can at my job my goal rather than a promotion, I will be happier because I can completely control how well I do at my job. Similarly, in relationships with others, we can make our goals relate to how we treat those people- something we can control- rather than trying to control how those people feel about us- something we ultimately can not control.
Next, Irvine speaks of fatalism. He says the ancient Romans focused on how the fates had written the past. This was useful when looking at other people that one might find difficult and when looking at one's own past. Instead of becoming irritated with a person or being filled with regret over past choices, seeing that person or your past self as being a victim of circumstance makes it easier to accept. I found this especially interesting as I tend to think that the combination of a person's genes, specific life experiences, and some factor of random chance essentially dictate the choices that he or she will make. I have found that viewpoint extremely helpful in viewing others with empathy and in avoiding regret. However, I have never felt that my present/ future is dictated even though by that logic, it is in a way. It appears Irvine takes the same approach. Even if it is a trick of the mind to imagine that current choices are true choices where we could choose differently, it's a necessary trick and somehow I find it very easy to hold the somewhat contradictory view that the past is written but the future could be changed.
The fourth psychological technique is self-denial. By practicing minor self-deprivations, we put actions to the negative visualizations to an extent. Sleeping on the floor could be such an example. It not only helps one build appreciation for their bed, it also increases strength of will and makes a person more adaptable. I know that I have a deep respect for people who can adapt to any situation and accomplish anything that they pursue. I desire a will of steel and this technique is clearly a good route to accomplish that end.
Finally, Irvine describes regular self reflection as being vital to Stoicism. A person must pause regularly and reflect on how well they have been living. They can consider if their current actions will lead to the fruition of their goals. If they identify something that was poorly handled, they can imagine other ways to deal with it.
The book has many other interesting tidbits from a Stoic feeling a deep sense of duty to mankind to tips for dealing with difficult people. But since almost everything in this book is fascinating, I had to focus on what intrigued me the most to keep this review from getting too long. I feel as though I aspire to be a Stoic. I don't think I am yet; but I think the journey will be a reward in and of itself.
No comments:
Post a Comment